Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
