I heard we made out
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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