Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
so let's talk penis.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
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