my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
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He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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