Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
