Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
