I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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