i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
