Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
