around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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