Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
