I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize