Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
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can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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