"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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