problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
