bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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