Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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