hell yes lets make some ravioli
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
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