sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
