I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
