i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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