Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
