Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I think I just sharted jello shots
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
