i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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