i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Randomize
