fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
