Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
The best revenge is premature balding
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Your cock deserves a montage
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
