Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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