please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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