Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
