he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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