I feel like abortions should bother me more
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Sorry about my life...
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
