i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
