Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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