they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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