I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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