felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
