I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
