I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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