i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize