so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
