Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
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