It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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