can u get pink eye on your cock?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
