Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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