U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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