WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize