Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
