why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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