I want to have your abortion
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
