I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Randomize
