now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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