Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize