I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
