3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize