I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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