I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
