With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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