i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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