her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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