why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
handjob tips. give me some.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
