I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
