More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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