I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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