You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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