Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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