Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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