U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
