my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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